I got the Modern Toss book ‘Work C’est La Merde’ for my birthday in July and about a quarter of the way through Drive By Abuser is ‘considering’ the newspaper reader:

‘…I get it all online mate, not that I can be bothered most of the time, unless some footballer’s f*cked a prostitute or something, turns out they have, then I’m off to check the latest, see you around yeah?’

So he’ll be in his element today then.

Is it me or this just the same scenario being repeated over and over again? We convincingly beat an Eastern European team in a qualifier with one of our strikers who wasn’t Wayne Rooney scoring a hat-trick and one of our centre backs picking up an injury that will keep him out of action for several weeks, forcing him to miss games in the Premiership and Champions League. The following Sunday we get to eat our bacon and eggs/croissants/chocolate Weetabix/roast dinner while reading about whoever’s been caught playing away.

To be honest, it’s all getting a bit old now. All you’ve got to do is change the names and there’s enough material to use every Sunday for the next couple of years before the England team turns up to Euro 2012 under the weight of unfulfillable expectations, scrape through the group stages and then gets knocked out by the first decent team they play.

Still, I’d be putting together a preview of the Switzerland game but to be honest with you I can’t be bothered writing any more about England today when I can just cut and paste it from posts I’ve written before.

This is the best Drive By Abuser from the Modern Toss TV series…probably NSFW though!